Mac and I just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary! We can now finish each others sentences.

Actually, a lot of times I'm pretty certain I know what Mac is going to say before he opens his mouth.

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One thing I know for sure about him and me is this: we will never not be a work-in-progress. (The double-negative is for emphasis purposes.)

We're companions, but not without occasional small (or sometimes large) miscommunication issues.

We've had happy times for sure, but not without hiccups too.

These things are the reality of a relationship.

Another thing I know for sure is this: our marriage is worth fighting for.

In honor of longevity, I thought I'd share how Mac and I fight to keep this thing going.

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Fighting for your marriage includes:

1. Fight for your marriage by celebrating it. Wave the "us" flag on a consistent basis! It's great to have individual things going on. Mac has his interests, and I have mine; but we've learned to also carve out together time. It's easier now that we are in our empty nest years, but at the same time, it's amazing what these years have brought to our calendar. We are also in the "sandwich years" of elderly parents and young grandchildren. So we have to fight for "us time" even still. Whether it's a date or a night away or a big trip across the ocean, don't let the marriage flag fall.

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2. Fight for your marriage with prayer. Invite the power of God into your relationship. Pray for each other and with each other. One of the greatest gifts Mac and I have given "us" is praying together. When praying out loud, I hear Mac's heart and he hears mine. And most importantly, God hears our heart together. And he never fails to help, encourage, and direct us. Prayer is a divine cord that binds us together. We just have to stay the course in doing it.

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3. Fight for your marriage in a common mission. Ask the Lord to give y'all a place in which you can serve together. This doesn't have to be overly complicated. Where is your common ground? Mac and I have gravitated to opening our home up in various ways. Whether it's our adult kids who bring friends in, or our neighbors, or family members, this is something we do together. Mac gets out the vacuum, and I pray over the room and bathroom as I get it ready for the next guest.

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However long you have been together--5 years, 15 years, 35 years, or beyond, make it your ambition to keep fighting for your marriage.

This kind of fighting is a win for the both of you.

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Fight the good fight... 1 Timothy 6:12

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For more tips on marriage, check out my book: https://www.amazon.com/25-Years-Lessons-Letters-Seasoned/dp/0692072748

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I'm not a "glitter girl," but I was wearing a gown that shimmered.

I'm not a "look at me" personality, but it was my turn to be center-stage.

I'm not a "dancing queen," but my number was called.

The mother-son dance was here. My daughter Maggie whispered in my ear just before the dance,

"Mom, you can do this."

Then, Davis walked over, took my hand and led me to the spacious dance floor. With Ben Rector's lyrics in the background, the lights twinkling overhead, and the gentle breeze blowing around us, I looked up into my 6' 2" son's eyes, and savored my "little boy."

For 3 more minutes, he was all mine. I remembered my friend telling me earlier to pretend no one was watching, so at that moment, just he and I existed.

We slowly swayed to the lyrics:

"...Dream on,

Dream on,

Even when you're afraid all your dreams may be gone,

Just dream on,

Dream on..."

I took a moment to affirm Davis. I told him how he was like his daddy: tall, dark, handsome, a leader, and a "fisher of men."

I then told him how he was like me: a deep well, desiring others to go deep with him, kindhearted, and gospel driven.

The song kept playing; we kept swaying.

Words from the past: "Dream on."

Words for the future: "Dream on."

I told him I was so proud of him and that I loved him,

And, and...

Then--my cue; the song was nearing its end. The words came so quickly--

"Dream on,

Dream on,

To infinity and far beyond;

Maybe they'll take you fabulous places,

Maybe you'll wake up right where you belong."

With these words, I had one last twirl before I handed him over to Acacia his bride.

I wanted the last stanza of the song to be theirs.  

I stepped back to the edge of the dance floor, now empty-handed, but heart full of certainty.

He was right where he belonged.

She is now his number one.

Can a heart rejoice and weep at the same time?

My dress sparkled, my eyes glistened, and my hands folded in a prayer.

I watched the newlyweds gracefully move together, swaying to the first stanza of their life:

"Dream on,

Dream on,

When the world says you're crazy just tell them they're wrong;

When the wold says you're crazy just tell them they're wrong,

and dream on."

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Yes, my son, with your beautiful bride in your arms...dream on.

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It's been 34 years since I said "yes" to my man.

He had just pulled an all-nighter as a medical resident in a Memphis hospital. I had driven from Jackson, MS to visit him for the weekend in his home town, Hernando, where he was temporarily staying at his parents.

We were sitting on his grandmother's porch swing next door...

A small country town,

a white farm house,

a definite southern charm.

We were swinging slow; I was hoping much.

There were no hidden photographers, no cell phones in our hands, no thought of recording the event,

just him... and me...and a ring in his pocket.

After some small talk about nothing and then large talk about big things, he then quoted Proverbs 18:22: He who finds a wife finds a good thing...

Then, he got on one knee and told me something--I don't remember what it was, but it was sweet.

The next question was only 4 words, but at the same time, it was life-altering. After only 3 months of dating him, Mac asked, "Will you marry me?"

Wow, I had waited for this;

I had dreamt about this,

and here I was, living this!

Of course I said "yes," not in the least bit knowing what that meant other than a ring on my finger and an "I do" at the altar.

My dreams hadn't gone past my wedding day.

We got up from the porch swing and knocked on his Mimi's screen door. She was the first one to see the ring; the first to hug us; the first to congratulate us. It was a memorable celebration of three.

Shortly afterwards, I was met with an embrace from Mac's mama who was waiting at their house. I remember her saying, with her thick southern accent and deep rooted faith, that she had been praying for me, Mac's future wife, for years, and she was so thankful that God answered her prayer through me.

Those life-giving words filled my cup, and they didn't cost a dime.

The good news spread...by the house telephone that was attached to a wall. Excitement was in the air rather than on a feed.

Wedding plans were made, mostly by my task-oriented mama, some specifics by my dreamy self. Next came showers and gifts, southern style. (Anybody need a sliver tray, silver tea set, silver place settings?)

And so, just like that, we were married in my growin'-up-church in Jackson, MS, six months later to the day.

Mac and I have come a long way together these 34 years.

Lots of life. Lots of growth. Lots of change.

It's a different world than way back when I said "yes" to my man.

But if he were to ask me to marry him again now, I would hope he would do it the exact same way.

Just him...and me, and a ring in his pocket.

From our forth floor balcony at Panama City Beach, my husband, my daughter, and I watched the waves roll in and the waves roll out. We could have gotten mesmerized by the rhythmic sight and sound, but it was a different kind of evening on the white sandy beach beneath us. Several boats with blue swirling lights were driving back and forth in search of a young 20 year old who had gotten pulled away from his friends by a riptide. His panicked friends and accumulating spectators lined the shore in hope.

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At 11 pm, the search was over, the young man was found. A thriving life ended, and inexplicable grief began.

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Only 24 hours later, same balcony, same white sand, same rolling waves. Yet, what we witnessed on this perfect sunset-evening was a young man, dressed in khaki and blue who had set up a twinkling "marry me" sign in the sand. He waited for his sweetheart, and sure enough, she came. He bent to one knee and asked the question that young girls dream of. When they embraced, the condo balconies erupted in applause.

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At 7pm, the search was over, the boy got his girl. His anxious thoughts stopped. Uncontainable joy began.

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To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of the two extremes, the high and the low of it. I'm still processing the waves of emotion on both ends.

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My only consolation with the young man who was swept away so suddenly is to think that Jesus himself was with him, saying, "Come with Me to a better place." There is a better place, I hope you know...maybe that's why I'm writing this right now...to tell you there is a better place than this life, and Jesus will take each of us there if we believe in him as our Savior. Yes, He saves us...from messes, from chaos, from riptides.

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My genuine hope for this young, engaged, very happy couple is that they will walk with Jesus in the land of the living. Maybe that's why I'm writing this right now...to tell you that you don't have to walk this life alone, and that Jesus will help you in each moment and in every relationship. Yes, He helps...in the happy and in the hard.

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We will always have the extremes...the high waves of over-the-top-joy as well as the low undercurrents of knee-buckling sadness.

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Life and death and everything in between. The hope is this: Jesus is in the midst of it all.

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Maybe that's why I'm writing this right now...to tell you that Jesus is in your midst...and to tell you to hold His hand in your extreme.

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For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

I'm a visual learner therefore I journal most everything that I want to know and remember. One of the consistent little pictures that I draw every morning beside the current date on my journal page is a quick sketch of two hearts side by side, slightly overlapping, with a cross going straight through the middle of the hearts. The hearts are meant to represent Mac and me, and the cross, of course, represents Jesus. When I draw this simple picture, I pray something like this over our relationship:

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Lord, may your strong love pull us together.

May your love fill us and flow through us towards one another.

Bind us together and make us move towards other people.

Use us, O Lord, however you want, and where ever we go. Amen.

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Well, not too long ago, Mac and I went to Spearfish, South Dakota. We stayed at the Secret Garden, a lovely Bed and Breakfast near the bubbling Spearfish Creek. In this small historic town, our hope was to visit some young friends of ours, John Michael and Erica Elder. Mac got to fish with John Michael, and I enjoyed coffee with Erica. We saw their new home, met their adorable little a six month old JJ, and had dinner with Erica's parents. What a great weekend of new sights and new relationships!

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To top it off (no put intended here), John Micael took us on an uphill hike on his in-law's property. It was quite vigorous, OR I'm quite out of shape! However, when we reached the pinnacle it was well worth every upward step. From this vantage point, the view of Spearfish was spectacular: the Black Hills were in the distance, the green valleys lay beneath us, while blue skies and cotton clouds completed the work of art.

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But what caught my immediate attention were the three dark wooden crosses that stood prominently at the crest of the hill. I loved to see them there, making a strong statement without words. I asked John Michael to take a picture of Mac and me in front of it, simply because it was something I wanted to remember from our trip out west.

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It wasn't until the next morning in my quiet time, when I was sketching the hearts-and-the-cross-picture that I realized that my "journal art" had become reality. God is so sweet like that. I never want to miss his intentional intimate gifts he designs just for me! (He does this for ALL his children! We just have to open our eyes.)

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After making this journal/reality connection, I went one step further, which is the TRUE reason God allowed me to live out my paper-sketch:

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I believe with all my heart, that God will answer the prayers that I lift up for our marriage as I draw the simple picture.

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I'm mainly posting this "evidence of God at work" to encourage you, wives, to pray for your husbands, and to love them with the unshakeable love of Christ. It's vital to him, to you, and to your marriage, no matter if you're six months in or 31 years like Mac and me.

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Today, Mac and I are in a new place, literally. He's had a job transition, coming out of 27 years of doing the same thing at the same office. My prayers for him and my love towards him are a key factor in this faith-filled change. I have recently added to my prayers for us: Lord, show us where to live, give, work, and play.

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Remember being a wife is a divine gift. Culture may shout to you that it's not; that it's a burden even, and a second rate role. But think about it, what a powerful privilege to be someone's "wind beneath their wings". Embrace your call and pray your man into the Lord's heights, which is way higher and far greater than any position this fleeting world can give.

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You may not need to draw a journal picture right now, but maybe take a minute to pray the prayer above for your marriage. And in time, with a surrendered heart, watch your prayers become reality.

Hi Readers,I wanted to let you know that I am doing a short video series called "Two Minute Tips to Encourage a Lifelong Marriage". Check it out by clicking on the Facebook emblem at the top of this page.I knew very little about what I was getting into when I said "I do" almost three decades ago. I thought the bride just rode off into the sunset with her Prince Charming and lived happily ever after. Goodness, I had a lot to learn! These lessons are some of what the Lord has taught me throughout my marriage journey to my husband Mac.No matter what year or decade, all marriages need encouragement to stay the course. Healthy daily choices lead to long-lasting relationships. I pray these tips will be a blessing.In His love,Chris