Break My Heart

A Journal Entry/ July 14, 2012:

Today, in about 5 hours, my daughter Emmy and I leave for Africa on a mission trip with Ordinary Hero. We will be joining my son Bink and his college roommate Christian who have already been serving over there for the last 10 days...looking forward to seeing them both! They've asked me to bring pepto bismal tablets, gas-x, mac-n-cheese, and orange peanut butter crackers. Hmm...quite a combo.

I can't help but wonder what God has in store for my heart/mind/body next week as I enter into a world that is drastically different than my easy American lifestyle. Even now, I'm sitting on my comfortable porch, in my comfortable chair, sipping my warm sweet coffee. How I love routine, the familiar, the unexpected. But, out of obedience, I get up... and go...

I'm both excited and apprehensive at the same time. What am I going to see, and how am I going to respond? Will my heart be able to take it? Probably not. But really, I think that's okay. One of my favorite lines to a familiar Christian song is this: Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours. 

So I guess that's my prayer for this trip...that the Lord would break my heart as I visit the oprhans and street children in the villages of Ethiopia...that I would be long-term-changed from this short term experience. And that in the brokeness of my un-comfortable heart, God would deeply plant His seed of divine love; so that it is the love of Christ, not mine, that is pouring through my words, my smile, my eyes, my hands, and my feet. Our team is one of many that will stay in Africa only 8 short days; but I am thankful to know and believe that through God's presence and God's people, His steadfast love edures forever. (Jeremiah 33:11) 


Yes Lord Jesus, break my heart, and fill it to overflowing with Your matchless love.